I am currently in a doctoral program, studying semiotics—cultural symbols—which requires a great deal of reading. Probably the greatest benefit of an education is the wise guide (teacher) who can give a curated tour of the best there is in any given subject, and such is the case with this program. Dr. Leonard Sweet has opened the door to an entire world of scholars and theologians who look beneath the surface of things and reveal mysteries. Now I would like to open that world to you.
An Easy, Enjoyable Read
Guidara’s story telling has an enjoyable pace, and the whole book reads like a fable, surely on purpose, because throughout the book the wisdom pieces are embolded. Much of the management wisdom, couched in the drama of running a restaurant, is familiar, and good. I recognize phrases from my own schooling, actually, and once again appreciate how well I was trained as a Bible Study Fellowship leader. I also am once again appreciating how important the culture of a workplace is, and how exciting it is to see a culture take hold as people begin to embrace the vision.
Good Management Advice
The book itself is almost relentlessly cheerful, not unpleasantly so, but definitely high energy. Then, on page 27, Guidara says, “Let your energy impact the people you’re talking to, as opposed to the other way around.” I took special note.
Just a few pages later is the reminder that a few employees, though loved by some, may need to be “managed out” because they are a net negative on the group. If hiring is hard, firing is even harder. Doing it well, though, can be a bonus even to the person who is being ushered out. There is a place for them to shine, and they need to be available for that place, wherever it is. Page 83 on morale is spot on.
I appreciated Guidara’s thoughts on working hard to fulfill someone else’s vision. Also, page 78, tradition may no longer be a right fit with where God is leading. New mercies every morning may include new ideas, new methods, new priorities.
The Merits of Collaboration
But I started getting pretty excited with the chapter on collaboration—page 110, giving someone responsibility before they feel they are ready, now that is the Jesus way. This is exactly what Jesus did in training his own team, giving them just enough to go on, empowering his students and followers with supernatural healing and casting-out ability, then sending them off. The exhilaration they must have felt! That is still possible today.
Collaborating with the team, asking for ideas and feedback, giving people a chance to try something without the guarantee of success (that is the whole point of risk) builds investment in what we are doing together. Our church is moving in this direction, hoping for the collaboration that Guidara describes. We are brainstorming together about each other’s needs, and a good number of novel and unexpected ideas are coming out.
The chapter on excellence, and the tension between hospitality and excellence is also a real church issue, in the music, in the worship service, in the staff. Making each of the many parts in all those areas just 1% better, that is a novel thought to me, and a workable goal.
Becoming the Best
It was, of course, satisfying to vicariously enjoy becoming the number one restaurant in the world. The journey may not have been quite like bringing the ring to Mordor, but the right emotional notes were there. Actually, the best moment for me happened on page 179, as Guidara watched his two mentors congratulate each other over his success. I love when a book can do that, bring me into the moment so that I experience it.
I get restless when nonprofessionals offer counsel on relationships. I once dedicated five posts to explaining why one particularly popular book on managing conflict was incredibly harmful and bad, written, of course, by someone who had no clue. (You can read that series here—just scroll down till you see “Unoffendable.”) Imagine, then, how refreshing it was when I found myself underlining some wisdom pieces in this chapter on relationships.
Favorite Quotes
The people skills of this guy is really off the charts. The story keeps the reader engaged, and Guidara makes it easy to see the wisdom.
Feel your feelings, but you don’t have to drink bad wine in the process.
I think I am going to offer that wisdom from here on in.
Being devastated is softened when it can be shared with another who understands.
That is compassion and kindness. Embrace tension.
People want to be heard more than they want to be agreed with.
Honestly, if we could even just do that.
God’s Guests
I dog-eared seven places in the second half of the book, about the above and about being persistent, being present, giving gifts, using creativity, and trusting our gut (or the Holy Spirit) in what to do next. But what I have found myself lingering over is Guidara’s advice about focusing on results.
Our manager meetings became less about improving the guest experience and more about how to make the restaurant more sustainable for all of us.
Will Guidara, Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect, 160
That is how I have read this whole book, that the “restaurant” is for us. We, everyone in our church, is the “staff.” Our Sunday worship time is the weekly “staff meeting” with Jesus. And the “restaurant” is where we serve others all around us, in our schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods.
It never occurred to me to think of my church in terms of church members who come as guests of a Sunday morning to enjoy the “meal” spread before them, then go home, and the church staff are those who run the church as a “restaurant” for church members. Yet, that is how many pastors, worship directors, and church staff understand this metaphor.
Later, Guidara states,
… perspective has an expiration date, no matter how hard you try to hold on to it.
Will Guidara, Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect, 169
I remember, now, when that view of church (that I just described above) actually was my perspective. But I had lost sight of that point of view in our church’s progress towards something else, towards viewing ourselves as restaurant staff for the world around us, serving Jesus grace to all of God’s guests.
Church is Home
Guidara mentioned a number of times how the staff were his family, and the restaurant his home, and that is the overlay I put onto our church. Every one of our Sunday morning worship times is like a family meal. A Sunday roast with potatoes and gravy, something special that is served only once a week, but it is our table, and we have all contributed to the setting and to the meal, for us, and for the Lord.
I know the Lord bears fruit wherever there are rich fields that receive the seed. Mega churches can bear fruit (where guests come to the restaurant) and so can house churches (where the table is a family table), and both can become barren, too. I have seen it happen. Guidara planted a goodly variety of restaurants, and they all evidently have done well in their way.
It is the culture of the staff, I am learning from his book, that has made the difference, and I think that is a direct corollary to churches. Relationships are hard but simple, relationships are everything, relationships are what last into eternity, because, in the end, it is only people, only love, that endures. I remind myself of that on stressful days.
