Happiness: Eighth Choice, Generosity

I do not usually pick up self-help books, but the title was so intriguing (and I was so unhappy) that I decided to take a chance on it. Twenty years later, I am still living into the lessons I learned from this unusual research, written by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks. The book itself does not come from a Christian perspective, so as I read it, I modified their counsel somewhat to include God.

There are nine choices Foster and Hicks discovered that consistently happy people make. Each choice leads to the next in a circular helix very like the chambers of a conch. Imagine entering that shell with the intention to be happy. We learn that in order to do that, you and I will need the power to make changes, and that can only happen when we accept accountability for our own lives. We identify what makes us joyful in the Lord, and we determine to make that central to our lives. We recast what has hurt us into opportunities for growth, determining to bring about the best outcome possible in the circumstances. We remain resilient, flexible, teachable, exploring all options, and we look for ways to appreciate life. As a result, out of our overflowing hearts will come a generous spirit.

Giving

As Foster and Hicks explain, at the beginning of their book,

Sharing ourselves with friends, community and the world at large without the expectation of a ‘return on investment’ is a hallmark choice of happy people. Giving is a constant in life, and may manifest itself in our careers, our community work, our church life or sharing through our creative pursuits.

Rick Foster and Greg Hicks, How We Choose To Be Happy, 17

The Spirit of Generosity

The authors begin this chapter by commenting on where generosity flows from. They explain that “true giving, radiant giving, comes from the same inner place as deep happiness” (Happiness, 170).

But what they say next gave me a long pause.

It is a desire to share our personal sense of worth and values. It is having the self-esteem to feel that what we have to offer is valuable—our advice, wisdom, expertise, skills, physical labor. The manner in which we give these gifts is a reflection of who we are.

Rick Foster and Greg Hicks, How We Choose To Be Happy, 170 (italics added)

Christian instruction does not usually dwell on our own sense of worth apart from teaching us that we are unworthy; poor and needy sinners who have nothing to offer. So how do we develop a spirit of generosity if we believe we have nothing to give? Can Christians rightly have what the authors term “self-esteem”? Is that not the opposite of humility?

Instead of answering those questions directly, let us consider other word choices. The apostle Paul used the phrase “sober judgment” when he wrote,

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

Romans 12:3 NRSVUE (italics added)

God’s Beloved

Every person was created by God on purpose, out of the richness of God’s great love.

“For it was you who formed my inward parts;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
    Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well.
    My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.
In your book were written
    all the days that were formed for me,
    when none of them as yet existed.”

Psalm 139:13–16 NRSVUE (modifications added)

We know we have significance and worth because we were wonderfully made by God, in the image of God, cherished even in secret by God when no one else knew we were being formed. By the very act of settling God’s love upon us, God counts us as worthy. Not deserving, that is a different matter. But definitely worthy.

Made for a Purpose

Still … deep down, you and I might wonder what is it that makes me special, if anything? I certainly have wondered that about myself.

God anticipates that longing to matter and gives us an answer. We have been saved for a purpose, as Paul famously wrote,

For we are what God has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we may walk in them.

Ephesians 2:10 NRSVUE (modifications added)

Paul’s one-liner written to the believers in Ephesus indicates God has a particular mission for each one of us. Not a plan, so much as a purpose that simply cannot be derailed. There is something waiting for you, and for me, that only we can give. God brought forth and continues to prepare you and me exactly as we are on purpose, for a purpose, to spread the goodness God pours into us.

And it is this we are given to share, something uniquely ours to give, a portion that enriches the earth and the world, and if we hold back, others are impoverished by the lack of all the goodness we have to give.

The authors lean into this theme.

True giving comes from the heart, it is the natural overflow of a person who knows they have good things to give. Jesus compared scribes who became his disciples with the master of a household who brings out both old and new treasures to share (Matthew 13:52). Later, Peter echoed the Lord’s teaching when he wrote, “Like good stewards of the manifold grace of God, serve one another with whatever gift each of you has received” (1 Peter 4:10).

Paul also talked about the generosity of the Spirit being given so that you and I can in turn be generous with the gifts God has endowed us with (for example, in 1 Corinthians 12).

No Strings Attached

True generosity expects nothing in return, because the gift is an overflow of joy and contentment. An overflow precludes any need for something to flow back. In fact, as the authors point out, “The more they give, the happier they feel, and the happier they feel, the more they give” (Happy, 171).

It seems this kind of generosity cannot exist without first being full of good things, and knowing it. It is not always about money or resources, or even gifts. True generosity in its “purest form” is the giving of ourselves, which

… is powerful in its directness and authenticity, and it has the potential of changing the entire course of a lifetime.

Rick Foster and Greg Hicks, How We Choose To Be Happy, 178

This is the generosity of kindness, of caring, of encouragement and help, often sacrificial, but always from the place of fullness. When you and I have a true sense of how rich we are in compassion and blessing, we have no need to concern ourselves over how much of that love and kindness we may lavish on others. The Lord has an infinite and eternal supply shared with us through the living Spirit of Christ within us.

Sharing Resources

Generosity is also giving in concrete ways that can enable others. As you and I review our resources of time, finances, and material goods, we can ask ourselves and God (taken from Happy, 174),

• What can you and I do to help others enhance their ability to support themselves, or to live more independently?
• Are there ways you and I can mentor, give someone the tools of their trade, or teach life skills?
• Could we help people realize their calling, or their dream?
• If you and I are currently involved in this kind of giving, how does it feel?
• If this is something we might consider doing, can we imagine how it would feel?

As Paul so famously wrote, “God loves a cheerful giver,” a saying that may stem from the ancient Hebrew wisdom that “the righteous are generous and keep giving” (2 Corinthians 9:7, Psalm 37:21).

[Cover Image: Photo by Dong on Unsplash]